A new year has come and I am determined to write more. I have promised myself on my writing Facebook page I will write for 30 minutes, minimum, non-consecutive if necessary, every other day. I really hope I can keep this promise to myself, even if it is just writing here. I slacked all year last year due to being pregnant and then having my daughter. It was reasonable, but it was an excuse. I watch too much TV and have too much going on when it comes to social media. I have hidden Facebook from myself on my phone, sort of, so I do not have to worry about being distracted in that way. I want to use my actual camera more to capture my son and daughter growing up since then I am not on my phone nearly as much. I feel like technology has over taken my life and I do not like that feeling. I miss the days of my high school and before then when there wasn’t this whole thing with social media over whelming everything. I understand that this is the world I live in and I should keep up with it just for the sake of understanding it when the kids get to age, but I do not like the idea of being controlled by it.

I see how my son looks at me when I am on my phone and I am heartbroken to think he feels like he is not good enough to garner my attention more than a phone. I will correct this mistake. I will also help him in getting disconnected from his tablet, our phones, and the television. I have been a bad parent when it comes to this sort of thing, mainly because it is so easy to allow him to just get lost in them. I know how it is since I get lost in them all the time, but it isn’t okay for me to use this excuse for him and it does both the children and an injustice. Technology and electronics are not babysitters nor are they the best learning devices. I know this, but with the lack of sleep I have allowed it to escape me. Within the coming year I am going to strive to do better by my kids when it comes to their learning along with their attention to electronics.

I also wish to make my marriage a more serious thing. We have a good thing, but I feel like things have become stagnant along with a sort of complacency between us. I am not all that surprised since we have been married 7+ years and known each other for 13+ years. When it comes to the day in and day out activity things begin to become routine and especially when the kids start to wear us out things begin to go unsaid. Tonight I noticed he seemed upset and when I asked he said he was just resigned. I know he meant about always cleaning dishes, which unfortunately is just something which has to get done. I will have to see if he has any ideas on how to make it less frustrating, but at the moment I have no ideas on that front. We separated jobs long ago so we could each try and get things done. Perhaps I should take on more of what he does since I am at home all day, but that is hard when I am also trying to keep ahead of the kids as well. Yet, with all of that I know I need to address the situation head on or things will just stay the way they are or become much worse. I do not wish for either of these things to happen. I want to have a spice in our relationship which most people can only dream of having. I also want to show both kids that while being single is fun being in a happy relationship is amazing. Not to say that they have to be in a relationship, but that marriages can be happy and not the ball and chain which people try to make them out to be.

Well, with all of this it means 2016 should be an interesting and loving year, even if it is hard. But, it will be worth it in the end and I hope to end next year with a more positive feel in my life and with happy smiles all around. Happy New Year.

750 words, which is a website which reminds you to write at least 750 words a day to keep your flow going, is nothing compared to the 50,000 words I am supposed to write this month for National Novel Writing Month. I love this month but yet have actually completed a single month, but I have not given up hope even if I am already way behind. First day I only was able to write 321 and the second day I was sick. Today is day three and after I am done writing this little tid bit I will be getting on to that exact writing. I am still sick so not quite sure what is going to be going down but that works for me as the beginning of this writing also had not been thought out and I just began to write. I think I do my best writing that way, always have, even when it had to do with writing my essays. I used to worry so much about writing and what I was going to say but I have found just taking a breath and just starting is the best thing for me, at least, to do.

So this story I am writing for National Novel Writing Month has to do, so far, with a young, almost teen, princess who has upset her friend who is also her hand-maiden and currently she is sitting in an alcove in the dark. I do not know if I want to go sinister with this next part or introspective. I guess this next part will tell me exactly what type of story I am actually writing, which is always fun to find out. I really hope I can actually finish this one. I have a few friends who have self-published and it is bugging the crud out of me because I have been doing this for so long and have not even gotten that far. I have so many stories written or at least partially written but none of them are done and none of them are even close to the publishing part. One of these days, it will happen, and when it does I will celebrate and then celebrate again the first time it is bought, and again when I get my first review, negative or positive. Those will be the days. First I have to actually finish.

I met a fellow today who said that he writes short-stories, my guess is because he doesn’t have the attention span to go any longer, which is also my problem and the reason I have never finished. He is paranoid that others will steal his ideas, and while it is a legitimate fear, I think he is letting it get in his way of actually doing what he wishes, which is being published. He also has the same thoughts about the self-publishing world, which is wow there is a lot of crud out there now a day. It is a sad state, but sometimes that is the only way the stories are going to get out there, which is of course too bad, but that is the time we are living in. He was a nice enough guy and I hope I hear from him as I gave him my web address and writing email. He wanted me to look over some pieces he had written and get my honest review on them… oh he has no idea what he has asked for. A few of my professors know my way of being honest (a little too well, sorry) and there are a few friends who have asked for the same who have received back their work marked up so much it was hard to tell what they had written and what was not marked. Though, all of those people were very pleased with my suggestions and when they took them into account were able to make their work into something magnificent.

I think I may have missed my calling with going with just a Bacherlors in English. I think I should have continued with the Creative Writing path and gone into editing, but for now that will have to wait. With a two year old that is just not going to happen currently. I would love to go back to school for a few things, but just cannot for now. I would love to go back for the editing classes, but also for psychology at the very least. Perhaps even go back quickly to get licensed to be a Notary.